Free program in Waterloo Region helps men stop abusive behaviour and prevent gender-based violence through counselling and accountability.
Turning Focus to Change
A unique initiative in Waterloo Region is confronting domestic abuse from a different angle — by engaging the men who cause it. The Engaging Men program, launched in 2023 by Women’s Crisis Services of Waterloo Region (WCSWR), invites men who have used violence against their partners to take responsibility and learn new ways to act. The program is free, voluntary, and designed to stop the cycle of abuse before it continues.
How the Program Works
Participants complete eight counselling sessions led by trained facilitators, including counsellor Jude Oudshoorn. The course helps men recognize harmful behaviours and develop non-violent communication. Many are referred by police or community partners who see potential for change.
“We’re trying to put the responsibility where it lies, on the person causing the problem,” Oudshoorn said. “We can’t arrest our way out of intimate-partner violence.”
When and Where It Started
Since its launch in early 2023, more than 80 men have gone through the program in the Waterloo Region. The sessions take place in confidential community settings, ensuring participants can reflect and learn in a supportive but accountable environment.
Why It Matters
Intimate-partner violence remains a serious issue across Canada. In Waterloo Region, police and crisis workers see recurring cases involving the same individuals. The Engaging Men program fills a long-standing gap by targeting the root causes — behaviour and mindset.
Detective Constable Andrea Gilker, from the Waterloo Regional Police Service’s intimate-partner violence unit, said, “There’s really no downside to supporting men. When we help them, we help their partners. It’s good for everybody.”
Who It Helps
Referrals primarily come from police officers familiar with an individual’s case history. Officers look for men ready to change — often after repeated police involvement.
Gilker said many accept help willingly. “We get feedback from frustrated men who admit nobody’s ever offered them help like this before. A lot of them are happy to accept that assistance.”
Measurable Impact
Program evaluations show strong results. According to WCSWR, 93 percent of participants reported overall satisfaction, 96 percent said they would recommend it, and 89 percent learned healthier ways to handle conflict.
Trish Sabourin, director of programs and services at WCSWR, said participants often express gratitude for finally being offered meaningful help.
A Broader Vision
Counsellor Oudshoorn has worked with abusive men in both community and prison settings and believes early intervention is key. “Many men say, ‘I wish I’d asked for help sooner,’” he noted. “We hold the bar really low in our communities around expectations of men.”
Gilker agrees that programs like this extend beyond individual benefit: “It’s helping partners, children, and the whole community. Moving forward, most police services will need ways to support men directly.”
Looking Ahead
The Engaging Men program continues to grow as more officers and agencies refer participants. Organizers hope the model will expand across Ontario and eventually Canada, shifting the national approach to domestic violence from punishment to prevention.
